This guy is me.

But times have changed. So, I was thinking one day not too long ago, “Let’s buy a new TV for the 2008 Summer Olympics! Let’s get a big, but not too big, high-definition set! Happy family memories will be forged by this high-definition Olympic bonding experience!” And so I did my research. It was not easy or enjoyable and in the end I picked a set that looked better than the others next to it at a local Best Buy.

Now I must say that the picture quality of my new LG HDTV is spectacular. I’m using my almost-new bunny ears to receive the local high-definition broadcasts and the signal is strong. The experience would be absolutely stunning were it were not for one niggling problem: the sound is out of sync with the picture. At first I thought I was crazy. “How could the sound not be in sync? Didn’t they solve that problem back in, say, 1930? Hasn’t TV always had synchronized sound? Here, let me twiddle this thing. I’m sure I can get it back in sync if I just click a few buttons a few hundred times. There must be a setting somewhere…” No amount of twiddling could get the local broadcast stations to present their programming with perfectly synchronized sound. But wait, there’s more! The sound synchronization fluctuates!  That’s right, it goes from just a little out-of-sync to way-out-sync all by itself. And some stations are more out-of-sync than others. It’s truly amazing.

So I wrote to our local affiliates.  Here’s what one local broadcast engineer, who was kind enough to reply, had to say about the situation:

Digital audio-video synchronization has proven to be an industry-wide problem. We have been successful in syncing our house video and audio, but are still having problems with the ABC network, where some programs have lip sync issues and some don’t. Occasionally we receive from the agencies commercials that have lip sync issues. These outside sources of the problem our not under our control, except to advise them of the issue.

One aspect of this problem of which many folks are not aware is that lip sync problems can be caused by the digital decoder/receiver and its associated video display audio amplifier. Plasma screens and LCD displays have a built-in latency between audio and video because it takes more computer processing power to process the video than the audio; and it appears different with different brands of TVs and converter boxes.

We can control the amount of video-audio delay and have set audio to be within two frames of video (this is 21 msec of delay), and is good for the majority of our programming.

So it’s an “industry-wide problem” that, according to my non-exhaustive research (i.e. Googling), has existed for five years or more. And on February 19, 2009, this “industry-wide problem,” should it not be solved, will be plaguing every dinosaur TV viewer who, quite foolishly, assumed digital TV would come with synchronized sound, just like the old talkies Grandfather watched for a nickel on Saturdays during the Depression.

It’s a “get what you pay for” society and TV is no different.  Want synchronized sound with your high-definition programming?  I know a guy named Comcast who’s willing to help.

Epilogue

My primary motivation for getting an HDTV was, as I mentioned, for watching the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing, which are being broadcast in high-definition by the local NBC affiliate. Luckily, the sound sync issues are not such a big deal when watching sports. HD and a big TV really do make for an Olympian viewing experience.

However, what is up with NBC’s prime time Olympic coverage? What I mean is, the schedule stinks.  I work 9 to 5, have a family, and can only watch a couple hours of commercial TV before going bonkers, so that means I’m good in front of the TV from about 8:30 to 10:30 PM.  And what has NBC been showing in that time slot all week? Beach volleyball. Oh, there’s been a smattering of gymnastics and a heat or two of swimming, all over faster than the commercial breaks, but the majority of the programming has been beach volleyball.  And is there anything more lame and less Olympian than beach volleyball?  Are we supposed to believe that beach volleyball is on par with the 400M butterfly or the decathlon? It’s ridiculous. The men’s beach volleyball competition is especially bad. These guys barely move. Most of them look like they’ll be pounding a few cold frosty ones as soon as the match is over. There just isn’t much skill or athleticism on display.

I feel sorry for all the other atheletes who are unrepresented by NBC’s prime time coverage. NBC, give us more of what’s going on in soccer, fencing, track and field, and all the other sports we may not know about instead of this horrible beach volleyball dreck.

Last year, the National Retail Federation polled 8,100 American adults regarding Halloween-related spending and 41% responded that they will carve a pumpkin to celebrate the holiday. Meanwhile, trends in voter turnout indicate that we can expect 39% of eligible voters to be casting ballots on November 7.

I, for one, will be doing both.

Bush orders humanitarian aid to Lebanon, but opposes cease-fire

The article comes from The Associated Press. Basically, Bush says to keep supplying Israel so they can keep bombing Lebanon back into the stone age, and next to those bombs to include some first aid kits, blankets, and bottled water. That is so wrong. The people who control Bush have gone completely mad. All of them.

Here are some more words from the current mouthpiece of the Bush Administration, Tony Snow:

Look, we would like a cease-fire tomorrow. We would like a cease-fire immediately. But it has to be a cease-fire that is going to stand the test of time so the people in that region and people in Lebanon particular, a country that has been hard hit by occupying forces and by frustrations of its democratic aspirations, deserve a shot at having the freedom and democracy its people deserve. And the only way that’s going to be possible is if there is no longer an internal threat of the sort that we’ve witnessed in recent weeks.

Deserve a shot at democracy? By destroying the capital, blowing up schools, bombing bridges, power plants, television and radio stations, and water treatment facilities, tearing families apart, by these acts we are giving the Lebanese People a shot at democracy?

When I was growing up, back in the 70’s and early 80’s, Beirut was synonymous with “war zone”. If you saw a building being torn down in the neighborhood you’d say, “Wow, looks like Beirut”. And now, unfortunately, due to a new generation who refuses to learn from history, Beirut looks like Beirut again. This is a tragedy for the world. We should be ashamed.

Using “party” as a verb means to revel or carouse, and back in college this typically involved drinking, drugs, and dancing. I’ll tell you which one of those activities was my favorite: none of them. “Partying” to me was synonymous with “having a rotten time with drunk stoned people who can’t dance”. Times have changed, thankfully, and so has “partying” (notice I keep putting that intransitive verb in quotation marks). I’ve made progress developing my “partying” skills, but it’s a struggle, and I still cannot use “party” as a verb. I think it’s really holding me back.

And then today I came across another word, a verb, that was used in such an earnest way that I again realized why I am still uncool and always will be. The word was “clubbing”, as in to go to a series of nightclubs and, presumably, “party” while there. The first thing that came to my mind when reading that word “clubbing” was a white baby seal being clubbed on the head by an evil hunter. So not cool.

I’ll never be one of the cool kids, but at this point I’m too old to care. To the kids out there who are reading this and who also have trouble using “party” and “clubbing” as verbs, I give you these simple words of encouragement, “Rock on! You are totally awesome!”

According to Google Maps, the distance is 1,710 miles and would take about 28 hours to complete without stops. Of the 12 steps from start to finish, the first five merely get you to I-90, a distance of less than two miles. Then at step six:

Bear right into the I-90 E entry ramp to Spokane – go 821 miles.

Step seven is equally momentous yet understated:

Take the I-90 E exit 456 to Sheridan – go 701 miles.

Step eight is more ordinary but failure to follow it will result in your entry into Iowa, something to be avoided on this itinerary:

Take the I-29 S exit 396A – go 182 miles.

And finally, the last four steps get you to the front door of your destination. Brilliant transportation planning.

Now, gasoline would cost roughly $200 to go the distance, and I don’t know about you but I can’t drive for 28 hours without stopping for the night, maybe twice, so add on another $150 for motel rooms. Then there’s food and drink, maybe another $50 (because you’ll be eating at crap restaurants that serve cheap food.) So, it looks like it may now cost up to $400 to drive there. After about a week, you’ll have been reminded of all the things that made you want to leave Omaha in the first place, so you’ll decided to drive back to Seattle. Ouch. There goes another $400.

Not so brilliant transportation planning.

We should have seen this coming. Gone are the days of carefree cross-country motoring. It’s cheaper to fly distances greater than a few hundred miles (for now). Passenger railroad service is laughable. What comes next? Has the great “not negotiable” American experiment in mobility-at-any-cost failed? My answer would be “yep, sure has”.

Update: In July 1994, we took a month-long road trip around America covering approximately 4,000 miles. The average retail price of a gallon of gas in July 1994 was $1.10, so we likely spent about $176 on gas during that trip. The average price of a gallon of gas this week is $2.95 which means the same trip taken today would cost us $472 just for gas. I’m not complaining about the price increase. I understand what’s going on. It’s a combination of supply and demand and oil company profit-taking (get it while the gettin’s good). I’m just saying that those amazing, long road trips behind the wheel of our own personal vehicle are going to make for some great stories to tell our grandchildren.

What’s it like? People, I really hated the GE product. It is tiny, and closes around you. I felt seriously claustrophobic. Then it shot bursts of air at me so hard it actually hurt. I had been told there would be “puffs of air”, but these were not, by any definition, puffs. “Puffs” make me think of cigar smoke. Or “Puff the magic dragon”. Puffs of wind. But these were hurricane strength blasts. Meanwhile the machine barks orders like a concentration camp commandant. Where did they get the voice? It speaks in a chilling metallic imperative borrowed from a really bad science fiction movie. In fact it was barely believable that adults would unleash this contraption on anyone.

I have to agree. I got “puffed” on a return trip to Seattle last November and had a similar reaction to Cameron’s. The woman in the security line behind me also got puffed and we chatted a bit afterward comparing our experiences. We both thought it extremely weird. Neither one of us had the dreaded “SSSS” on our boarding passes indicating to security personel that we were suspects. Both of us had purchased our tickets well in advance. Both of us were traveling round-trip. In fact, we both looked exactly like the 30-something knowledge-worker wage-slaves that we were. Weird.

Cameron does a good job of explaining the feeling of being inside one of these things. It’s like a sci-fi gas chamber. Your thoughts trend toward, “What happens if the machine detects something? Will robotic arms shoot out and immobilize me? Will a tranquilizer gas be released? Will a trapdoor open sending me sliding down to some underground holding cell?” It’s creepy.

A lot could be done to improve the experience. But in addition to making it more “people friendly” how about adding features that might get people to want to be puffed? How about turning it into an “air shower” that blows dust, germs and microbes off your body? Maybe it could use ionization to clean your skin? This would help make air travel be less of a burden on the immune system. If we’re going to have sci-fi security systems, why shouldn’t we have sci-fi personal care systems, too?

I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride.
She had to heave me right across her shoulder
‘Cause I just can’t seem to drink you off my mind.

It’s the honky tonk women
Gimme, gimme, gimme the honky tonk blues.

I laid a divorcee in New York City,
I had to put up some kind of a fight.
The lady then she covered me with roses,
She blew my nose and then she blew my mind.

It’s the honky tonk women
Gimme, gimme, gimme the honky tonk blues.

(Yeah!) It’s the honky tonk women.
Gimme, gimme, gimme the honky tonk blues.

(Yeah!) It’s the honky tonk women.
Gimme, gimme, gimme the honky tonk blues.

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. How did we ever survive?

Bellevue is clean. It’s pretty in a plain sort of way. And it’s completely soulless. Developments like Lincoln Square continue the trend. Bellevue is a place where shopping is the center of all activity. It’s a place where the newly-constructed art museum had to close down for over a year due to lack of interest while the shopping mall expanded. (Admittedly, the lack of interest was well deserved. The museum was not well attended partly because of uninspired exhibits.) It’s a place where the lake front is hidden and mostly private. It’s a place where nothing surprising ever happens. In short, it’s a place not worth caring about.

Why do I seem to care? I don’t really, but it is important to pay some attention to the nature of suburbia and how it effects life in the city. Bellevue-style development has invaded Seattle and will continue to do so, most likely. Know thy enemy.