States of matter of national security
At Dulles International Airport near Washington, one traveler reported that screeners were also making passengers remove all food items from their carry-ons for inspection, and one passenger was told to peel her banana. - The New York Times
TSA Screener: Next in line.
Passenger: Hi there, officer.
Screener: Sir, I’m not an officer and please refrain from chit-chat. (Reaches in passenger’s bag and finds something frozen solid.) Sir, what’s this?
Passenger: Well, I heard about the new restrictions against bringing liquids on board, so I froze my liquids before coming here. Now they’re solids! Swell, eh?
Screener: Sir, I don’t think we can let you on board with these, er, frozen liquids. We’re specifically not allowing liquids on board.
Passenger: But they aren’t liquids. They are solids. As solid as a rock! Get it?
Screener: Sir, don’t try to be funny. This is a matter of National Security. It’s possible these frozen liquids could contain dangerous substances.
Passenger: You mean like nitroglycerin?
Screener: Yes.
Passenger: What’s the freezing point of nitroglycerin?
Screener: Excuse me? I don’t know.
Passenger: It’s actually higher than water unless mixed with something like ethylene glycol dinitrate, about 45 °F. Pretty cool, huh?
Screener: Sir, how do you know so much about nitroglycerin?
Passenger: Read about it on the Internet last night as I was freezing my… er, packing my solids.
Screener: I see, well, I’m afraid I’m going to have to confiscate your solids. (Grabs the frozen items and dumps them in huge bin full of confiscated bottles of water, hair gels, and lip balms.)
Passenger: But isn’t it kinda risky to be mixing all those potentiallly dangerous liquids together like that, right here?
Screener: Sir, I’m just following orders.
Passenger: One last thing, is it okay for me to bring my knitting needles on board?
Screener: Sure thing, buddy. Now please move on. There are lots of passengers waiting behind you.