A Christmas letter to my seventeen-year-old self
Yeah, I know, not another Christmas letter! I’m sure you’ll agree this genre is played-out and hardly worth the effort. But this is no ordinary Christmas letter. Trust me on this.
So the year began with a shave and a haircut. There were ups and downs, the kids grew like weeds on a hot summer day and started new schools (the older one kindergarten, the younger one preschool), we traveled a bit (Delaware, Oregon, California), I turned 36 and started wearing reading glasses, we’re still working the same jobs, we’re still living in the same house, we’re still happily married, we’re all in good health, and no one close to us has died.
I know that you’re bored by how my life has turned out so far. What could be more boring to a seventeen-year-old than domestic bliss? I must say that I envy your certainty. You’ve got it all figured out with your physics and your philosophy and your self-awareness. Pretty soon you’ll be far from home proving that “life is elsewhere” and that you’ve got a lot of living to do. You’re smart and some people will recognize that, and those that don’t won’t matter to you. You’ll make a difference in people’s lives, but that isn’t your motivation, is it? Making a difference is simply the by-product of your aptitude.
Damn, that’s cool. You are one cool dude. You’re like this invisible force in the world. No one can see you but they can feel your effect. Rock on!
I’m not going to tell you what you think is wrong. And even though you mostly deny your feelings, I’m not going to tell you what you feel is wrong. I am going to tell you that you’re totally missing the point of living. It’s about connecting with other people. The thing that’s going to keep you going day after day is the bond you make with your family and friends. It’s that simple. Your mind will be a poor companion over the long haul. Make an effort to bring people in close and keep them there. This will provide you with more satisfaction than you could ever imagine. And another thing: be a good father. You’ll know when you’re being good and when you’re not, so just go with your instincts on this one. There’s a learning curve, but you’ll figure it out, because you’re smart.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc.