Today is the first day of the rest of your life
The heartbreak a mother feels when her child goes off for the first day of school is practically a cliche: sobbing, interminable hugging, waving as the child boards the bus, running after the bus as it pulls away, etc. Well, it goes for fathers, too. And it isn’t funny so stop laughing.
This morning I deposited my oldest in a teeming big-city kindergarten class for the first time. How do I feel about it? Well, not so good. I’ve been nervous about this for days. School always made me nervous and I’m already projecting my fears onto her, which isn’t good. The classroom was chaotic with so many new students and their (nervous) parents mulling about like lost sheep. My daughter acted no more or less emotional than I expected. I made a few attempts to depart but she kept a tight grip on me. Finally, the principal announced that the parents should join her for coffee down the hall and that was enough reason for my daughter to see me off. A hug and kiss and one last high-five and I was gone.
I’ve been feeling progressively worse since then. I’m just waiting for her to return and I can barely sit still.
And as if that isn’t enough to make me feel out-of-sorts today, I also deposited my youngest at her first day of preschool. This one was a bit easier: the school is a known quantity of high quality and possessed by a serene atmosphere of which my daughter is already familiar. Never mind that she’s only three years old and may very well wet her pants, break down crying a few times, and come home tired and grumpy. I’m comfortable with that, I think.
Days like today are both days of dread and days of growing. This is a big day for all of us.
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